Friday, February 22, 2013

Alfred Receives a Shock

Mother has found that over the years that Royal Warrant holders of the British Royal Family are generally the best purveyors of goods for the family.  Mother always makes a point of looking for the Royal Warrant holders seal and the words, “By appointment to Her Majesty the Queen.”

            This afternoon at tea-time Mother and I were enjoying a cup of Taylors of Harrowgate Yorkshire Tea, of course Taylors is registered as a Royal Warrant holder.  Mother had chosen her Paragon Royal Albert teacups for today’s tea.

            I said to Mother, “I have become aware that a Royal Warrant does not always guarantee quality.  Take for instance the Parker Sonnet Sterling Silver Fountain Pen in my collection.  It’s a beautiful pen, but it doesn’t write very well.  On the other hand my Namiki Emporer’s Treasure Fountain Pen, not only looks fashionable, but it is also a pleasure to write with.  Of course at $6,000.00 it ought to write better than a Parker Sonnet.  It just goes to show that you get what you pay for.

            “You are quite right Alfred,” said Mother, “take for instance my Chanel handbag.  I just love its soft leather.”

            “Well, Mother,” said I, “I’ve been thinking; I’d like to add another pen to my collection, perhaps a Conway Stewart Windsor¸ or a Krone George Washington Limited Edition Fountain Pen.  The original cost is $5,900, but Fahrney’s has it on sale for $4,130.00.”

            “Oh, look, Alfred, the mail just arrived.”

            Mother came back with a letter from our new parish and I carefully opened it with my William Henry pocket knife.  You can imagine my distress when a pledge card fell out.

            “Mother,” said I, “I’m appalled.  Look at this!”

            Mother picked up the accompanying letter and perused it, “Look, Alfred.  It is signed by Claude Whittington.  I had no idea he was the Chairman of the Stewardship Committee this year.”

            “Well,” said I, in a huff, “he certainly didn’t waste any time sending this out.  We’ve only been there two months.”

            “A pained expression crossed Mother’s face.  She is quite good at pained expressions!  “But Alfred, the Whittingtons are our friends.  Whatever will we do?  I’d hate to be embarrassed by not responding.”

            “Mother, if I didn’t have a tenor solo coming up on Easter, I swear I would just leave the Church!”

            “I know, Alfred, I know, and I have just agreed to serve with Grace Whittington on the Hospitality Committee.  It would be so embarrassing to just drop out.”

            “Well, Mother, I think we’ll just have to bite the bullet and sent them at least the price of that Krone George Washington fountain pen I have been looking at.”

            Mother pondered that for a few minutes and then replied, “Make it a silver bullet Alfred!  Send them the twice the price of your Namiki Emporer’s Royal Treasure Fountain Pen.  It’s not as though we can’t afford it; and after all, we don’t want to be embarrassed.”

“Each one must give as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  2 Corinthians 9:7   

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